Tonight is just a blah type of night. My mouth hurts from oral surgery two days ago and i am trying not to take the damn pain pills...i dont want to depend on them to get through a day.
Been looking at what life could be like after the army..im close to home and dont really want to leave the area again. I dont think that things are going to work out with my fiance, since she wants to return to OK and i dont want to go anywhere but my hometown. I miss being home...i always wanted to be at a huge cookout with my friends and family and have that generational friendship with other families. I want my kids to be friends with my friends kids and so on and so forth, i want my kids to have normal lilves and grow up where i grew up. I have hidden my past from them because i dont want them following in my footsteps and doing all the stuff i did, when i think about it now i want my son to know who i was and would love for him to play at my alma matter even wear my number. I think that would be something great, i would love to be able to hang out with my friends again and just relax and get through life....not sure if this is going to happen or not but its still wishful thinking on my part. i dont want to go home and struggle like i did before i joined the army....that is the one huge questionmark with all of this...that and if she will stay or leave......who knows but its always a great thing to have the support of my friends..they have kept me strong through some rough times
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